Leading the Blind

            I love the Oxford model of education. It advocates a close mentor-trainee relationship. The simple fact of the matter is the younger generation desires role models. People who are inspirational (whether for good or bad reasons). I mentor a young man. I’m mentored by an older man.

            Very little of what we do is really original. We see someone else do it, and that serves as the basis of how we go about that activity. If every child had a positive role model (or two), the world would be a better place because that child would grow to be like the person they admired.

            We model what we know. Too much of the younger generation has only experienced absentee fathers and mothers who work around the clock. Too many kids grow up without discipline or love.

            They grasp onto someone to follow, and they become that person. Their dad? He’s gone, so they grow up and become absent for their families. Their mom? She works and is gone also. They grow up and do the same thing. Celebrities? Many live pretty unfortunate lives themselves, but these kids still hold them high and try to be like them when they are older.

             We have an absence of positive influences in our culture. The Oxford model is the best out there, but it takes people who can actually be good mentors. We don’t have those, so kids grow up trying to be like people they shouldn’t. This leads to very, very unfortunate results that we are feeling now.

Know Today, So We'll Know a Different Tomorrow

            Advertising is powerful. I’m sucked in by those commercials of hurt animals and starving children. It would be almost sadistic except for the fact I don’t enjoy them suffering, but I’m still attracted to it. I don’t think that is sadism because I want to take their pain away.

            The thing that drives people like me is a vision for a better future. I know tomorrow can be better than today. I know it. But it takes the people of today to join with others and fight for it. We have to be the voice for those who cannot speak.

            I chose this blog topic for that reason. Both criminals and the abused cannot speak. Scratch that, the criminals can throughout their legacies. They are saying, “Don’t follow my road. There are better ways to impact society.”

            When people see criminals, they don’t pity them as they should. These people are the product of their childhood and their own mistakes. Yes, everyone is accountable for his or her actions. But people follow the beaten path. When that criminal’s beaten path set before him or her is crime, that’s what he or she will do.

            We can learn through other’s mistakes. This is secondhand learning, and it is invaluable. We have to take the time to get to know those who have made mistakes today, so we can teach the generation that will rule tomorrow not to make the same ones.

My Friend

            I have a friend who was abused as a child. Almost killed, in fact. As she got older, she started stealing and hurting herself. Eventually, through friends and religious influences in her life, she stopped. She is now the nicest person I know.

            This story is heartbreaking (especially if you know the details). It’s also why I’m so passionate to help those who are abused so that they don’t grow up to become tomorrow’s criminals.

            My friend was able to change. No one is hopeless. All she needed was a group of people who cared about her. She also needed something to live for. She found both in good friends and religion.

            Statistics show the damage abuse causes. If you are abused, you have a higher chance of practicing destructive behavior. You can become dangerous to society.

            But you don’t have to go that route. There are many subcultures in America who understand you and have their own versions of family where you can fit in, if you indeed do not have a good one of your own.
            Stories and people like these are what inspire me to help others. People can change, they just need a catalyst.

A Better Future

            As I’ve grown up and moved around, I’ve had the wonderful privilege of meeting many, many different types of people. I believe everyone is unique, special. But one thing I’ve learned through all this is that unfortunately not everyone is blessed with an idyllic childhood.

            As a military child, my young life has been one of boxes and moving vans. It’s been one of discipline and structure. But it’s also been one of love and of family.

            I’ve been with teens who haven’t had those two last things. You can tell; their outlook is different from mine. I look at the world and want to improve it. They look at the world and want to escape it.

            I had a friend who’s father was in a gang. He was proud when his son joined a gang. What did this gang do? They hung out, did drugs, and probably beat people up for the fun of it. Like father like son.

            It’s because of stories like this that I’m interested in the connection between one’s childhood and his or her adulthood. It’s the reason why I want to look at those two groups and their connections: the abused (or mistreated) and the criminal. There is a linkage, and I find it fascinating, if not sad.

            If we can somehow help the abused, the crime would decrease. How do I know this? Many criminals are the way they are because that’s what they know. Their parents, at best, didn’t teach them anything better. Their teachers didn’t give them any attention.

            If we can give them other knowledge (how to work with their hands, how to lead, how to grow), some will turn and try to improve society. Criminals are humans like you and I. You and I were influenced by our childhood. So were they. If we can’t have a good childhood, we can make sure others have a better adulthood.

Light. Cameras. Action.

http://www.morguefile.com/archive/display/839645

While both boys and girls are victims of childhood abuse, girls are abused more than boys. This mental trauma can unfortunately lead them to look for relationships with people who are like their abusers. When they enter the relationship, the abuse continues.

http://www.morguefile.com/archive/display/904578

Through a series of sports scandals, domestic abuse has come to the forefront of the nation. Through commercials and other advertisements, organizations are letting America know that abuse is unacceptable. It can lead to destructive individuals who do not know how to respond to society. It leads to suicide or crime. If it doesn't lead to any of those, it still definitely leads to a life that wasn't as well lived as it could've been.

http://www.morguefile.com/archive/display/855461

Photography is a powerful weapon in society. Nothing pierces people more than seeing pain. Or hope. Photography has led to reductions in child labor and sweat shop factories. People are affected when they see the conditions some children face. The dingy closets with no air circulation. Or the whip used to beat a child. One can't help but be affected and want to do something.

http://www.morguefile.com/archive/display/929158

People are the way they are for several reasons. The main one is childhood. It shapes us. We take in what our parents, teachers, friends, and circumstances tell us. We can help those who are abused so they don't think abuse is acceptable when they are older. Abuse is a crime that too often leads to other crimes.

Abuse

http://www.morguefile.com/archive/display/912268

The mark of a psychopath is one who does not feel guilt and who does not sympathize with others. This tunnel vision also includes a lack of fear of death, and even a fascination with it. Many psychopaths were abused as children and grow up thinking cruelty is normal.

 http://www.morguefile.com/archive/display/838348

As a result of painful abuse, some decide to resort to parricide. Often a gun is used as the instrument of retribution. These young adults or older children are generally perfectly sane, they just feel like they have no other option to escape.

http://www.morguefile.com/archive/display/841109

The abused are often nameless and faceless. They are scared to speak out. Will anyone help them? Is it their fault they are being abused? So they stay silent. Maybe someone will rescue them, if that person takes the time to notice those around him or her.

http://www.morguefile.com/archive/display/839644

There is healing in honesty. Yes, there is abuse, and this often leads to destructive behaviors. But when it's addressed and the necessary steps are taken, there can be reconciliation and love. The situation has to be recognized and healing measures taken.

Born or Made?

             Katherine Ramsland blogged about psychopaths on the website "<Crime Library>". Are they born or made? As one example of psychopaths being made, she talked about Gary Filmore. He killed two men in cold blood and showed a combination of disdain and fascination for death. He did not appeal his death sentence.

             He was abused as a child by his terrible father, Frank Gilmore Senior. Frank had little use for the countless children he had by several women. He also beat Bessie, Gary’s mother, who would then beat Gary while Frank was beating her. 

             As children, psychopaths (similar to sociopaths, but not quite) show a low fear of death, and a low response to distress calls. They show little empathy and little emotion, period.

             She goes on to talk about whether psychopaths are born or made. This research is extremely important for society to detect future psychopaths in children, so that we can give them the necessary resources to make them feel things like guilt and fear.

             As a group, those who are abused as children have a higher likelihood of becoming criminals as adults. They soak in the callousness and hypocrisy and hatred of their parents, and that’s how their brain is wired as a result. They think that is normal and acceptable. The results are devastating when they get older.

              Socialization is huge here. When all they know is their abusive parents, that is the greatest influence in their life. Maybe if society can detect the negative results of abuse in a child, while the child is in the school system we can help them with corrective measures (therapy and other things).

You Are What You Want to Be

            Pat Gundry gives a list of characteristics to help you know whether or not you may be an abuser. One of the fascinating points she makes is that abuse is multigenerational. People have to learn how to mistreat those they “love”, so they learn from those who abused them.

            But what really struck me was when she mentioned that it is a conscious choice to abuse others. While those who have been abused have a higher tendency to abuse others, the fact of the matter is that you can control whether you abuse others.

            This flies in the face of biological determinism, which states that our genes determine how we act (Croteau & Hoynes, 2012, p. 149). But this position shoots that down.

            Also, if biological determinism is true, then what is the purpose of rehabilitation centers and self-correction courses? If I’m an abuser, then that behavior is in my genes and I am not only not responsible for my actions, but I also cannot change.

            If everyone thought of their actions this way, society would be in trouble.

Croteau, D, & Hoynes, W. (2012). Experience Sociology. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.

Parricide

            Paul Mones reports of a 16-year-old girl who fatally shot her father. He had allegedly abused her. The article continues with talking about the killing of abusive parents by their children.

            These children, mostly male, tend to be older teens from middle-class white families. Males tend to be more aggressive due to what has been done to them, but at the same time completely sane.

            They view what they are about to do as a last act of self-preservation. They are isolated and feel helpless. They think nothing else can be done. They think clearly and they often want to protect their siblings.

            These tragic instances illustrates conflict that comes with power (Croteau & Hoynes, 2012, p. 112-115). Parents have power over their son or daughter for most of the child’s life. But there comes a time when that stops, and the reverse is true. If the parents have used their power in an extremely abusive way, the grown child often will react negatively.

            When a parent uses physical force to coerce the child into being the person he or she wants the child to be, resentment starts to build. Sometimes the resentment leads to hatred, which leads to revenge. The child’s childhood was hell on earth, he or she doesn’t want adulthood to be the same way. So, as a last resort, they eliminate the person causing them pain.

Croteau, D, & Hoynes, W. (2012). Experience Sociology. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.

Football and Punishment

            Recently a story has come to light that has rocked the world of sports. USA Today reports that Adrain Peterson, superstar running back for the Minnesota Vikings and one of the best running backs of all time, has been accused of abusing his child using corporal punishment. Pictures of have surfaced of his son with cuts, welts, and bruises.

            What’s also been shown is that Adrian Peterson learned this punishment from his dad and, to a lesser extent, his mom. Nelson and Bonita Peterson whipped their boy with switches or belts when he was out of line.

            Peterson credits this stern discipline as one of the reasons why he has had the success he’s earned. Also, others point out that in the area and time he grew up in, this type of punishment was common. It is only natural that he disciplines the way he was disciplined.

            However, others say that, as a society, we’ve moved past this extreme of a punishment. Now it is abuse. There are other ways of punishment that do not require medical attention.

            One of the things a person can come away with from this is that a person’s culture growing up helps to mold this person when he or she is older (Croteau & Hoynes, 2012, p. 59). We learn, for good or for worse, from something or someone. Adrian Peterson learned how to discipline (many would say "abuse") from his parents.

            Most parents have deeply held values that affect how they do their job. This doesn’t change when it comes to discipline. For Adrian Peterson and his parents, their value of hard work and integrity manifested itself through extremely rough punishment.



Croteau, D, & Hoynes, W. (2012). Experience Sociology. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.

Introduction

           Hello everyone! My name is Nathan Williams. I will be posting on the relationships and correlations between those who were abused as children and those who became criminals as adults. This will be for my Sociology 111 class, taught by Dr. Y, during the fall semester of 2014.