A Better Future

            As I’ve grown up and moved around, I’ve had the wonderful privilege of meeting many, many different types of people. I believe everyone is unique, special. But one thing I’ve learned through all this is that unfortunately not everyone is blessed with an idyllic childhood.

            As a military child, my young life has been one of boxes and moving vans. It’s been one of discipline and structure. But it’s also been one of love and of family.

            I’ve been with teens who haven’t had those two last things. You can tell; their outlook is different from mine. I look at the world and want to improve it. They look at the world and want to escape it.

            I had a friend who’s father was in a gang. He was proud when his son joined a gang. What did this gang do? They hung out, did drugs, and probably beat people up for the fun of it. Like father like son.

            It’s because of stories like this that I’m interested in the connection between one’s childhood and his or her adulthood. It’s the reason why I want to look at those two groups and their connections: the abused (or mistreated) and the criminal. There is a linkage, and I find it fascinating, if not sad.

            If we can somehow help the abused, the crime would decrease. How do I know this? Many criminals are the way they are because that’s what they know. Their parents, at best, didn’t teach them anything better. Their teachers didn’t give them any attention.

            If we can give them other knowledge (how to work with their hands, how to lead, how to grow), some will turn and try to improve society. Criminals are humans like you and I. You and I were influenced by our childhood. So were they. If we can’t have a good childhood, we can make sure others have a better adulthood.

Light. Cameras. Action.

http://www.morguefile.com/archive/display/839645

While both boys and girls are victims of childhood abuse, girls are abused more than boys. This mental trauma can unfortunately lead them to look for relationships with people who are like their abusers. When they enter the relationship, the abuse continues.

http://www.morguefile.com/archive/display/904578

Through a series of sports scandals, domestic abuse has come to the forefront of the nation. Through commercials and other advertisements, organizations are letting America know that abuse is unacceptable. It can lead to destructive individuals who do not know how to respond to society. It leads to suicide or crime. If it doesn't lead to any of those, it still definitely leads to a life that wasn't as well lived as it could've been.

http://www.morguefile.com/archive/display/855461

Photography is a powerful weapon in society. Nothing pierces people more than seeing pain. Or hope. Photography has led to reductions in child labor and sweat shop factories. People are affected when they see the conditions some children face. The dingy closets with no air circulation. Or the whip used to beat a child. One can't help but be affected and want to do something.

http://www.morguefile.com/archive/display/929158

People are the way they are for several reasons. The main one is childhood. It shapes us. We take in what our parents, teachers, friends, and circumstances tell us. We can help those who are abused so they don't think abuse is acceptable when they are older. Abuse is a crime that too often leads to other crimes.

Abuse

http://www.morguefile.com/archive/display/912268

The mark of a psychopath is one who does not feel guilt and who does not sympathize with others. This tunnel vision also includes a lack of fear of death, and even a fascination with it. Many psychopaths were abused as children and grow up thinking cruelty is normal.

 http://www.morguefile.com/archive/display/838348

As a result of painful abuse, some decide to resort to parricide. Often a gun is used as the instrument of retribution. These young adults or older children are generally perfectly sane, they just feel like they have no other option to escape.

http://www.morguefile.com/archive/display/841109

The abused are often nameless and faceless. They are scared to speak out. Will anyone help them? Is it their fault they are being abused? So they stay silent. Maybe someone will rescue them, if that person takes the time to notice those around him or her.

http://www.morguefile.com/archive/display/839644

There is healing in honesty. Yes, there is abuse, and this often leads to destructive behaviors. But when it's addressed and the necessary steps are taken, there can be reconciliation and love. The situation has to be recognized and healing measures taken.

Born or Made?

             Katherine Ramsland blogged about psychopaths on the website "<Crime Library>". Are they born or made? As one example of psychopaths being made, she talked about Gary Filmore. He killed two men in cold blood and showed a combination of disdain and fascination for death. He did not appeal his death sentence.

             He was abused as a child by his terrible father, Frank Gilmore Senior. Frank had little use for the countless children he had by several women. He also beat Bessie, Gary’s mother, who would then beat Gary while Frank was beating her. 

             As children, psychopaths (similar to sociopaths, but not quite) show a low fear of death, and a low response to distress calls. They show little empathy and little emotion, period.

             She goes on to talk about whether psychopaths are born or made. This research is extremely important for society to detect future psychopaths in children, so that we can give them the necessary resources to make them feel things like guilt and fear.

             As a group, those who are abused as children have a higher likelihood of becoming criminals as adults. They soak in the callousness and hypocrisy and hatred of their parents, and that’s how their brain is wired as a result. They think that is normal and acceptable. The results are devastating when they get older.

              Socialization is huge here. When all they know is their abusive parents, that is the greatest influence in their life. Maybe if society can detect the negative results of abuse in a child, while the child is in the school system we can help them with corrective measures (therapy and other things).

You Are What You Want to Be

            Pat Gundry gives a list of characteristics to help you know whether or not you may be an abuser. One of the fascinating points she makes is that abuse is multigenerational. People have to learn how to mistreat those they “love”, so they learn from those who abused them.

            But what really struck me was when she mentioned that it is a conscious choice to abuse others. While those who have been abused have a higher tendency to abuse others, the fact of the matter is that you can control whether you abuse others.

            This flies in the face of biological determinism, which states that our genes determine how we act (Croteau & Hoynes, 2012, p. 149). But this position shoots that down.

            Also, if biological determinism is true, then what is the purpose of rehabilitation centers and self-correction courses? If I’m an abuser, then that behavior is in my genes and I am not only not responsible for my actions, but I also cannot change.

            If everyone thought of their actions this way, society would be in trouble.

Croteau, D, & Hoynes, W. (2012). Experience Sociology. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.